Tuesday, April 9, 2013

In the "in-between"..

I think it's probably fair to say that many of us atleast in the MPS and for that matter chronic disease community feel like we are often in the "in-between". In-between waiting for an answer, in-between waiting for an appt with a new specialist, in-between a test and a result, a question and an answer, a thought and a idea and for many in-between feeling pain and feeling better.  It can be a tough wait and for those who believe it can be challenging as you want to find your own answer or your own new provider but first have to wait to hear back from a primary dr or specialist, wait for a result for a diagnosis (be it "thee" diagnosis or a secondary diagnosis related to our underlying issue while also trying not to question ones faith. Wait for a referral to a specialist who has more experience but required by Insur or in some cases multiple insurances to see a provider or providers who have multiple opinions but no real understanding or for that matter any experience with our underlying disorder or presenting issues.  I know ive talked numerous times before about how uncertainty is the hardest part of MPS and any of my numerous health issues for me as I like answers, I like knowing a plan and I like knowing there is something being done or atleast considered to help me but most of all I just do better when I am involved in my own care. ....

I came across this article earlier today and thought it fitting, I liked it and a good way to think of what has already been done for us, and for which we can be thankful each day thanks to God's son Jesus dying on the cross to figure our sins, descending in to hell,  beating the devil and the 3rd day rising again to save us from our sins.


The day of in-between
March 30, 2013http://natepyle.com/

gerald-buff-corsi-crepuscular-sun-rays-and-acacia-trees-at-twilight-masai-mara-game-reserve-kenya-africa
Today is the day of in-between. The day between Good Friday and Easter. The day in-between.
The day of not yet, not quite, and almost.
The day of being somewhere, but no where. Placed, but unplaced. Lost, but found.
Today is the day of in-between.
Between grief consuming us and joy that explodes out of our bones.
Between tears on our cheeks while we are wrecked weeping and tears on our face from uncontrollable laughter.
Between hope and resignation.
We live our lives in this day of in-between.
Always between something. That is what we are.
We are the girl caught in the strange place between a young girl and a young woman. Where men look at her at though she is a woman, but her heart is as innocent as a child.
We are the boy between wanting to play pirates and ninjas and pirate-ninjas and being told to grow-up and become a man.
We are the old man in a hospital bed ebbing between the vibrancy of life and the vapidness of illness.
We are the couple between resolution and conflict. Anger and remorse. Holding grudges and granting forgiveness.
We are the woman torn between grieving the loss of her lifelong partner and best friend and celebrating that he knows pain and struggle no more.
We are the ones who inhabit the day of in-between.
But we are not in-between hope. Our hope is not caught in-between because the divine stepped in-between. Became in-between.
In-between king and servant.
In-between accepted and outcast.
In-between powerful and helpless.
In-between humanity and divinity.
Our God came in-between.
Today is the day in-between. The day between Good Friday and Easter. The day between death and resurrection.
The day where we live.

Thank you dear Lord for what you have done and cont'd to do for me in my sinful nature,

Erica

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