Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Shunt revision rescheduled

It's hard to believe I am writing this and although I tend not to believe in bad luck perhaps the other week I jinxed myself when I wrote something to the effect of: "Dr.Bragg is out of the office studying for her final board testing but said she didn't have a problem doing the VP Shunt surgery while out".
Perhaps I jinxed it by doing yesterdays Pre-op Appt. (?) or perhaps I just feel like it's one of those things that oh so elusively out of reach (relief)?
I don't know but what I do know is that this sucks and honestly I'm probably going to worry between now and the new surgery date (Nov 20th) that Dr.Bragg will change her mind or doesn't believe me or something. Maybe it's an irrational fear but non-the-less when you don't really know it is for me a fear.

Perhaps that all sounds silly but when you've had the past experiences I have with Neurosurgeons I don't think you ever quite stop worrying when will this one stop believing and leave to? Silly I hope but non-the-less a worry of mine.
When I saw the missed call from my Nrsgns Secretary earlier I think my heart just momentarily stopped, I just had a funny feeling it wasn't going to be a good reason. I called the Secretary back and sure enough Dr.Bragg wanted/needed to reschedule surgery from the 30th (next wk) to later in Nov.
I had thought the reason surgery was delayed this 2 wks now was due to her taking her board testing sometime in this interval (but thinking about it now remember her saying something about it being in Nov.) and so I am not sure but think she was just doing very part time practice between when I saw her a few wks ago and now and then next week will be out for good? I don't really know.

After talking to her Secretary, Anna went back and talked to Dr.Bragg who was willing to con't on with the surgery next Thurs. but all f/up care would have been with her partner. Anyone whose been following this or my previous cb site for sometime knows my experiences with her partner have not been great ranging from flat out accusing me of being a "drug seeker" to comments along the line "I'm glad she wound up with you" (when rounding on a wknd day for her); believe me there's a reason I walked out of the one and only appt with this dr.
The only appt. I've to date ever walked out of AND I feel it is my gain to have Dr.Bragg as my Nrsgn - she is good at what she does and I think works well with my other Providers. She has believed me when I know there are many times my symptoms are less than classically presenting and though I never stop really worrying about her giving up I feel lucky to have gotten her on my Team due to her caring and persistence.
I know her partner is a good Neurosurgeon and several of my friends have kids who see him and they really like him which I am happy they have good working relationships. I would never say this dr. is a bad person just that we don't mesh as Patient and Provider and I feel heads and toes more comfortable with Dr.Bragg who has never discounted my symptoms or what I might feel nor accused me of making up symptoms. I think some drs are (my opinion) just better with kids and some are just more able to do both kids and adults.
It's also on my part not a male vs female dr. thing as several of my other Specialists are male including my Cardiologist and we get along well. In my Cardiologists case we are 2 headstong, stubborn people who have worked well despite our not always agreeing nature.
I write all of this here as with many things I write a bit apprehensively as I don't obviously know who (or even what Providers) may read this and I worry a bit it may offend someone and that definitely isn't my intent.
The reason I share it is b/c it is my experience and this all above plays in to how I feel today as I was deciding whether to do surgery still next wk or as much as it kills me go with surgery in a month. =/ I am guessing Dr.Bragg's Secretary probably thought 'holy cow' when I talked to her as I was in tears and upset (not angry upset, just upset) trying to sort out what to do.

Due to Dr.Bragg being there I've opted to reschedule surgery to the date later in Nov., I think it may be a long 4 wks between now and that surgery date but I am not very comfortable with post-op being under someone other than Dr.Bragg who is familiar with my care.
I bounced the thought off my Mom (who acutely remembers past experiences) and some friends and just decided since Dr.Bragg is so familiar with my underlying, potentially complicating issues i'll wait. Do I wish it was tomorrow or the as before scheduled next Thurs yet? Absolutely!
Pre-Op from yesterday should still carry over to next month so the only thing I can think of is INR testing which I imagine i'll have to get done the day before. Anna, the Secretary was going to place the surgery as the "1st case" so hopefully that will remain true and we manage INR the day before by outside testing.
To sign off I'll leave with this quote I came across on fb today:
"Hiding sick is very easy when your life is always being invaded by pain"
I wish more people could understand this; not all of us regardless of how we feel curl up on the couch as we have things we are responsible to and so you instead modify your life or plans.

No comments:

Post a Comment