Driving home tonight, from Infusion I had a lot on my mind, particularly thinking about the shunts, on/off headaches (definitely improved with the 2 shunts back in place which I am very grateful for yet at the same time there have been some pretty brutal momemts (days)! There are some moments, usually at night or in the early morning when the symptoms are there - still improved with the 2nd shunt back in place but symptoms there.
Anyways in addition to that I was thinking about the upcoming 3rd Heart surgery (OHS), about my Sunday School kids (I know random, scattered thoughts) and anyways turned on the music I have downloaded on my phone app to distract my thoughts.
This in turn I started thinking about favorite hymns and bible verses - again random but at the same time thoughts that bring great peace to me, probably bc these are songs and verses I've always liked.
Ecclessiastes 3: 1-?
Ecclesiastes 3 New International Version (NIV)
A Time for Everything
3 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Psalm 23 - The Lord is My Shepherd
1. The Lord's my Shepherd, I'll not want;
He makes me down to lie
In pastures green; He leadeth me
The quiet waters by.
2. My soul He doth restore again
And me to walk doth make
Within the paths of righteousness,
E'en for His own name's sake.
3. Yea, tho' I walk in death's dark vale,
Yet will I fear no ill;
For Thou art with me, and Thy rod
And staff me comfort still.
Back on medical-OHS related stuff, my Endocrine drs office called last wk, they sent over their instructions for pre/post Heart (OHS) Surgery to my Heart and Anesthesia Team.
Given its the same Team in entirety as the past 2 OHS they likely know the drill but my Endocrine just wanted to be sure. I am grateful she is so in depth and cares to be thorough.
Headaches have been wildly up and down this past couple wks, pretty much gone by the end of the day but the mornings pretty well stink. Yay hooray but want to pound my fist through a wall in some cases?..But seriously it still is better than prior to us putting the 2nd shunt back in, weird but true! I don't want to call Dr.Bragg, the symptoms are variable and yet I don't know do I say something to her before we get closer to the OHS date (about a Month away)? Damn I don't know what is the right thing I should do and I know Dr.Bragg always says we're a "Team" (I believe her, I don't think she would just say this) but I also so don't want to ask her for help again. AGGHH!!! Honestly I think the hardest thing since this last shunt surgery even though it had greatly improved in the 1st 2 wks is the odd little things with memory, like i'll be driving and while i'll know where I'm going i'll think I'm going the wrong way (but beats the other wk where I would turn and go the wrong way, was directions I'd take say to get to my Apt but totally not where I needed to be going at that moment or I'd be at a store and have to think for a couple mins before I left which ways I needed to go to get to the next stop or home! Now I just feel off with littler things like writing, still really weird with filling out forms/worksheets/writing in general, i'll know what I need to write but literally have to think about how to write letters before I can get them right OR lots and lots of white out! My poor Christmas cards this yr, some where fine, others not so much! White out really became my friend - almost funny but also frustratingly stupid bc I would know it was wrong but had to think about before I could make it right. Ahh well, my poor brain is just got a little stupider I guess?..
This wk is Christmas, hard to believe but also beautiful and so grateful to have spent this Christmas out of the hospital!!! I know 2016 already has the heart surgery scheduled but I celebrating 2 Christmases in a row not at UW or any other hospital and my 1st year in 4yrs of teaching I was able to not only plan but then also be at our Sun School kids Christmas Party. - I thought it went well, the SS kids seemed to have fun and I especially loved the hugs I received not only from my kids, in my class but even from a kid or 2 I had in yrs past! Love all of my kids and seeing them happy while also learning.
Thanks for stopping by, will try to update again soon, if nothing else I meet with my Heart Surgeon in a couple wks, after the Holidays.